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Sunset

A little bit about me...

     I was born and raised in a small town in the southern state of Kentucky in the United States. My parents were high school sweethearts, married on my daddy's 18th birthday. My extended family was a majorly Christian family, so church and prayer is something I learnt at a young age; I joke with my children how the Holy Bible was the first book I learnt to read...however that was a fact and not a joke.

     By the time I was eleven years old, I dedicated my heart to Jesus Christ and got baptized in a creek not far from our home. Even though I was a member of a Baptist church, I still knew what the Holy Spirit was through my parents praying in tongues within our home and the bible studies I did with my dad.

     I was "saved and baptized", but I wanted something MORE. I wanted everything God could give me and there was no satisfying my hunger any other way. So, I began seeking God for the baptism of the Holy Spirit soon after the water baptism. However, it wouldn't be until three years later that I received it.

     And y'all, let me tell you, it was something worth seeking after! However, life has a way of draining the good God places inside of us if we allow the wrong people within our ears or the wrong thoughts within our minds. How did the enemy get me so off-track for God?

     He convinced me I would never be good enough. Period. Never good enough for my family, never good enough for my school, never good enough for my friends, never good enough for church, and ultimately, never good enough for God. Through this mentality, I ran from everything good I knew.

     From the time I was 17 until I turned 30 was nothing but a cycle of nonstop confusion. Partying. Drugs. Drinking. Sleeping around. Addictions. Failed marriages. I was searching for my worth in everything BUT God. However, I kept trying to come back to Him in seasons during that time of my life, only to be met with shame and disappointment when I couldn't measure up to His perfection people kept telling me he expected.

     That's when I ultimately died. December 23, 2016. Standing before a Christmas tree filled with presents for my children, holding an empty bag of used meth in my hand which I found inside of my second husband's lunchbox. I was done. I was done trying to live right when I just kept messing it up. I told God to just take me out, go ahead, if this is what a life of following Him looked like...just kill me. I could never do right.

     But instead of a bolt of lightning, I heard a still, small voice, "Are you ready to know who I truly am?"

     I was so confused, I expected death. I was rude to God. How was He showing mercy and compassion within that moment? But He did.

     "Are you ready to know who I AM versus who you've been taught I am or who others say I am?"

And it was in that moment, I felt so loved, so heard and seen by a God who had always felt so far away from me, that I completely surrendered.

     And it's been one beautiful journey since that moment almost eight years ago. Beautiful but messy, Amazing but heartbreaking, Wonderful but shattering...after all of the hurt and pain I have been through, I know God more at this moment than I ever have in all of my life.

     I'm not perfect, no Lord knows I'm not. But I'm mending through His love. And you can too. That's what this ministry is about...mending the broken, healing the hurt, and equipping the mended. I'm so glad you're here. This journey, if you so choose it, is going to change your life.

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